It's Up To You...

Dear New York,

Three more sleeps until we are reunited. I have a list as long as my arm but as usual you will tear up my list and point me where you feel I need to go. I have started to think about outfits, I like to look nice for you, I may even get may hair done. I'll try to see all the things I think I want to see, but mostly I can see us walking around like lovers. It's like you have an imaginary hand and you lead me through yourself.

I like how you sound and how you act. I like your vibe. I like how anything is possible and I have to spend a large amount of time straining to keep my jaw off the ground for fear of looking like I have a hideous case of cock suckers cramp. I like that my inner voice sings Ghostbusters or Moon River as I strut down each and every street. No one walks in New York, those streets were made for struttin'. I love the fact that old ladies holler at cab drivers and that the concierge at Tiffany's hit on me. You can't get hit on at Tiffany's, it's Tiffany's for Gods sake! How very Irish of me, I believe the diamonds were located behind my blushes...

Lets not even begin to talk about your food, suffice to say, I look forward to putting elastic in my pants upon my return...

Yours sincerely,

Lid Off, Parcel Open...

Dear Pandora's Box,

I get it, I do. Once opened hard to close and who knows what will be revealed next...

Yours sincerely,

Love Is In The Air...

Dear Blog,

Happy Anniversary! Today is our 100th post and I can't quite believe it. When we started on our little adventure, we had no idea, did we? I was unsure and a little scared and you were just along for the ride. Here we are though, 100 posts in and still as in love as ever. People said we wouldn't last but we showed them. Along the way we picked up some readers, more importantly some friends and who knows what the future holds? You've challenged me and made me a little more brave than I was before. There are many stories to be told and many more letters to be written.

So, here's to us my blog, here's to another 100 posts and a world full of inspiration...


Yours sincerely,

Bzzzz Off...

Dear Mosquitoes,

The gloves are off. In the twisted world of Karma, somehow you little bastards forgot the rules. See I don't eat animals so ere go animals should not eat me, n'est pas? They should not gather together in some kind of blood lust orgy at my neck. I should not feel a little bit like Keanu Reeves in Dracula. In fact perish the thought, one should never feel like Keanu Reeves, but you're bringing out my inner Neo. I'm looking for the leathers and ugly sunglasses and I'm getting into training.

On some levels, I could cope with my neck but when you went for the face? Well you picked the wrong vegetarian. For two days, I looked like I had the measles. The bite on the bridge of my nose was particularly fetching, all the boys said so. In fact right after I finish writing to you I have to R.S.V.P. the 7 marriage proposals I received as a result of your handy work, oh no wait, for two days I could have given the elephant man a run for his money.

Then you took it a step further, you bit my nipple. I mean what sort of depraved creature bites a girls nipple without buying her dinner first? No chocolates? No flowers? Just straight down and dirty and they say romance is dead....

You should know, because in the interest of fair play I at least am giving you a warning, I am poison. The wicked Queen wishes she had my shiz to put in her apples. Sweet relief thy name is deet, I am doused and ready to go, seconds away round two...

Yours sincerely,

You Know How To Whistle Don't You...

Dear Mouth,

Sometimes I wanna dress you in lipstick, take you out and show you off...Sometimes I want to stitch you together, then staple you, then wrap some sort of electrical tape around you and urge you to call my brain for assistance...

Yours sincerely,

Jump...

Dear Speed,

Rushing around, rushing in, rushing onwards. I'm putting you on hold. I putting you in the slow lane with two gears and introducing you to the brakes. I've ran with you for years, born sensible in so many ways and yet in certain matters, there you are taking over and pushing thought into the bin and gaffer taping the lid. Heart, have you met head? No? Pull up a chair, it's time.

You see, I don't have to make up my mind today or tomorrow or even the next day for that matter. Let's have a cocktail, sit on the grass and look at the sky. Let's have a conversation or seven. Let's pull up chairs and chew the fat and decide it's about a personality rather then a set of circumstances. Let's play the game. No store credit, I don't want to buy now and pay later. I want to save up, a bank of memories.

Hunger, is a good sauce...

Yours sincerely,

Located, Here, Here and Here...

Dear Airport,

So many people hate you, so I thought I would write to you and express my support. I have always found you to be a fun place, a wonderland. Where else would you find so many different people under one roof? I am inquisitive, it's a nice way to say nosey, no? I like to watch, but not in a weird way, you understand. I just like to watch people, human beings never cease to fascinate me, it's better then anything you would ever find on the box.

It's like the biggest soap opera on earth, a trip to the airport. The goodbyes, the hellos, the tears and the laughter. Everyone, trying to kill time and if you just looked at what was going on in front of you, you might never need to switch on the tv again. I like to give the players in your show a name, a character and a plotline, I'll never know their truth but what does it matter?Sometimes, you buy the wrong book so you have to make your own entertainment...

It's particularly fun to walk through your terminals listening to Donna Summer's Bad Girls, it gives a girl a spring in her step, it makes me get to struttin'. Everyone should have a personal soundtrack at the airport, every good show deserves a good theme tune...



Yours sincerely,

Au Revoir...

Dear France,

Where to begin? Thank you for the cheese, the wine, the bread, the pastries, the cute men, the sexy voices, the abiltiy to remind me that eating, drinking and laughter are really some of the most important things. Thank you for new friends with infinite patience who never laugh at my appalling pronunciation and even worse grammar. Thank you for a big hairy French colleague that no matter how difficult the working day gets, can reduce me to tears of laughter by refering to me as my little vol-au-vent, presenting me with flowers and flipping me the bird, all at the same time. Thank you for the weather that has warmed my skin tone up enough for people to stop checking my pulse.

Oh France, I shall miss you, at least, until I get to Denmark...


Yours sincerely,

It's An Undeniable Fact...

Dear Opposite,

Stop attracting me...

Yours sincerely,