Perhaps Not...

Dear Snooty Yoga Teacher,

I'm sorry we were 15 minutes "late". You did in fact tell us the class started at 6.15, so when we got there at 6.00, in my mind, we were early. I probably am juvenile, but then, I don't know too many people who could walk into a room with 15 groins facing them and not find that amusing. When you said the class was suitable for beginners, I didn't realise beginners meant advanced in your world and since I appear to not be fluent in Yoga tongue, I ended up playing a game of twister with myself. I found this funny. The only thing funnier than laughing when you are not supposed to, is laughing in church when you are not supposed to. Sorry Sister Katherine, but all these years later that still remains with me, and is probably why it's for the best I haven't set foot in a church since I was 18, funerals/weddings/christenings excluded. I'm hoping that doesn't affect my statutory rights.

Than you for informing me you were separating me and my friend so we would benefit more from your class, the only way I could have really benefitted from your class, was if I hadn't gone. The giggling was, in fact, the most relaxing part. The attitude you gave me? I could have done without, I found it less than relaxing.

I won't be returning to your class, but perhaps you should in fact attend one of your own classes or at the very least try a bigger pair of lycra pants, the current ones appear to be right in a twist, along with your stress levels. Remember, it's all in the breathing...

Yours sincerely,