Sunday, June 14, 2009


Dear New Jeans,

So a miracle has occurred. I of the arseless existence, a life time of no bottom, a leg that goes all the way to my waist with no discernible bump, no shelf to rest coffee, no slight little duck bum that would ever have anyone refer to it as a peach. Flatter than a pancake, flatter than a Pop Idol contestant singing Christina Aguilera, flatter then the world in the days of Galileo... Today, dare I say it, because of you, juicy!

Apparently money can't buy you happiness but it can buy you J brand...

Yours sincerely,


  1. That is so not a problem here. I even have a matching one in the front - and, no, I'm not pregnant.

  2. Enjoy your apple bottom while you've got it!

  3. Tis not my bottom, tis a mere illusion, the work of some wonder denim...