7 Chances...

Dear Snow White,

We need to talk. Men who kiss you without your knowledge whilst you are sleeping are not the sort of men you should marry. Yes he's handsome, yes his name is Charming, but he took terrible advantage. In any other world a man kissing a drugged up girl would be arrested. He most certainly wouldn't be a Prince, I'm thinking footballer, check his credentials.

I realise you had a few issues with your parents, your lovely mum died, your father unable to cope by himself replaces her with a wicked step mother/very bored Queen. I mean really, when you're a Queen and you pass your time making knock off rohypnol to pass to younger prettier girls in the hope that your mirror will tell you you are the fairest, things aren't looking good for the kingdom. She also appears to be sampling her own wares, a talking mirror, step way from the apples...Not to mention she told the hunter to bring back your heart and liver as proof of your demise, you really need to have a word with your Dad. Disney made it sound sweeter, but really they weren't called The Brothers Grimm for nothing.

Anyway, I digress, I think you need to look inside yourself, I think you need to remember there were seven, count them, seven men, who took care of you the whole time you were knocked out. They took you in, they fed you, they protected you, they never copped a feel while you were sleeping. They may not be big in stature but I think their hearts speak for themselves...

Yours sincerely,