Saturday, April 04, 2009

Is There A Doctor In The House...?

Dear Doctor,

I need help, a prescription doctor. I have a bad case of cabin fever. It's a really bad dose of Iwanttodomyownthingitis. No that is not a made up disease and yes the side effects appear to include lying...

I'm no medical professional, but it's acute. Let me list the symptoms, I have an inability to sit still in hotel rooms, I have a back that is missing my bed, I have a bottom that needs to sit on the chair by the window in my friends kitchen drinking tea, I would be drinking the tea, not my bottom, obviously. I have a hatred of every item of clothing in my suitcase, this I believe is what's fuelling the raging fever, overnight the seasons have changed and I am all wrapped up like a Christmas turkey. I have been wearing them for three weeks now and still have four to go. There is a small hole on the left side of my body, somewhere between my ribcage and shoulder, I think this might be where it is missing the daily doses of belly laughs administered by my friends. I am paler than usual, an achievement for one so Irish, my natural colour is blue, at the moment I am rocking a shade so pale that if you were to hold me up to the light, so transparent am I, you could use me as a filter. Blue, is but a distant fond memory.

What's that you say Doctor? Next week, three days off in a row in London? Why I'm feeling better already...

Yours sincerely,


  1. " achievement for one so Irish" makes me smile. My step-mom and step-sister are like that. Blue Irish!

    How about a prescription for a hot bath and a glass of wine??

  2. hehehe!!! Bottom is not drinking ea then! What a relief!! HEy! Pick up the phone and call your friends! That would help a little?!

  3. I was a little over tired when I wrote that one, sleep has been had, the world is wonderful once more!

  4. Cow has difficulty wrapping her mind around the idea of 8 weeks in hotel rooms...

    Perhaps a whole new wardrobe of spring-like togs would console you?


  5. Cow - three days straight off in London, plans are afoot, so many new things I may have to switch barns...