Dear Good Holy Christ On A Bike,
Last night, on a rare occasion I decided to turn on the telly, not because I am so morally superior that I no longer watch tv, but because I find the internet allows me to choose productively what I want to watch, instead of being sucked into an endless, unproductive, timeless vortex of, well, poop. Last night, I was in the mood for poop, wow does that type bad or what? You know, some vacuous, mind numbing, I do not wish to concentrate on one more thing, poop. Be careful what you wish for, indeed.
There it was, Embarrassing Fat Bodies, a title so insensitive that it was the perfect companion to a programme that hauled individuals up in front of the nation and highlighted every single thing that was wrong with them, physically, emotionally and mentally, in the name of entertainment. Throw some more chum in the water, the sharks be circling. And it was at that exact moment that I realised future generations will be able to look back and pinpoint the precise moment that man's intellect began it's steep, steady and speedy decline...
Yours sincerely,
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Work It...
Dear Citizens of Normalcy,
Does anybody else think it's a little weird, that sometimes in the blog world you stumble upon a person who posts 72 pictures of themself, in various poses, in a meadow? Sometimes, it's all a little Mariah Carey, just sayin'...
Yours sincerely,
Does anybody else think it's a little weird, that sometimes in the blog world you stumble upon a person who posts 72 pictures of themself, in various poses, in a meadow? Sometimes, it's all a little Mariah Carey, just sayin'...
Yours sincerely,
A Breath Of Fresh Air...
Dear New York State Senator Roy McDonald,
Every so now and again, I am reminded that not everyone in politics is bad. Not everyone in politics is afraid to speak the truth for fear of upsetting the people who bank roll them. Every so now and again I am reminded that the fact we live in a society where this is even considered to be an issue is ridiculous. That years from now, future generations will look back on ours, shamefaced, that we would try to police love. That we had the audacity to sit idly by, whilst our friends and relatives were abused, berated and denied basic human rights, simply because they love someone of the same gender. Every so now and again, a man like you, remembers why you got into politics in the first place. You wanted to make a difference, a real difference, to other people's lives, not just your own.
"You get to the point where you evolve in your life where everything isn't black and white, good and bad, and you try to do the right thing. You might not like that. You might be very cynical about that. Well, fuck it, I don't care what you think. I'm trying to do the right thing. I'm tired of Republican-Democrat politics. They can take the job and shove it. I come from a blue-collar background. I'm trying to do the right thing, and that's where I'm going with this."
Yes Senator, sometimes all the Ivy League Graduate School prepped speeches in the world, can't hold a candle to the truth and a well placed fuck it, and for that sir, I applaud you...
Yours sincerely,
Every so now and again, I am reminded that not everyone in politics is bad. Not everyone in politics is afraid to speak the truth for fear of upsetting the people who bank roll them. Every so now and again I am reminded that the fact we live in a society where this is even considered to be an issue is ridiculous. That years from now, future generations will look back on ours, shamefaced, that we would try to police love. That we had the audacity to sit idly by, whilst our friends and relatives were abused, berated and denied basic human rights, simply because they love someone of the same gender. Every so now and again, a man like you, remembers why you got into politics in the first place. You wanted to make a difference, a real difference, to other people's lives, not just your own.
"You get to the point where you evolve in your life where everything isn't black and white, good and bad, and you try to do the right thing. You might not like that. You might be very cynical about that. Well, fuck it, I don't care what you think. I'm trying to do the right thing. I'm tired of Republican-Democrat politics. They can take the job and shove it. I come from a blue-collar background. I'm trying to do the right thing, and that's where I'm going with this."
Yes Senator, sometimes all the Ivy League Graduate School prepped speeches in the world, can't hold a candle to the truth and a well placed fuck it, and for that sir, I applaud you...
Yours sincerely,
Thursday, June 16, 2011
For Hands That Do dishes...
Dear Friend,
Don't worry about changing my glass, at this stage we have drank so much wine, you could pour it in my shoe, some friends transcend washing up liquid, just saying...
Yours sincerely,
Don't worry about changing my glass, at this stage we have drank so much wine, you could pour it in my shoe, some friends transcend washing up liquid, just saying...
Yours sincerely,
Tuesday, June 07, 2011
Scrambled...
Dear Paul Victor De Seze,
"While it is true that the mind is common to all human beings" wrote Paul Victor De Seze "the active employment thereof is not conducive to all. For women, in fact, this activity can be quite harmful. Because of their natural weakness, greater brain activity in women would exhaust all the other organs and thus disrupt their proper functioning. Above all however, it would be the generative organs which would be the most fatigued and endangered through the over exertion of the brain". Hmmm, thinking cracks your eggs?
Now, me being me, I wanted to check you out. I realise, I was playing a dangerous game of Russian Roulette with my fertility by doing this, as some of your words may have contained more than two whole syllables.... but pull the trigger and call me Natasha, I wanted to know more about you. Turns out, whilst you may have been a tad misogynistic, you did an awful lot of good AND you were born in St Emilion, the home of my favourite red wine. Good red wine and helping deaf kids? If this were a game of cards, then you just trumped my ovaries. Damn you. Anyway, I've started reading more about you and now you've introduced me to a few more names I don't recognise, and as I don't like being stupid + I do love to google = problem solved. Yeah, I solved that all by myself and I wore lipstick while I did it, stick that in your pipe Paul Victor De Seze....
Yours sincerely,
"While it is true that the mind is common to all human beings" wrote Paul Victor De Seze "the active employment thereof is not conducive to all. For women, in fact, this activity can be quite harmful. Because of their natural weakness, greater brain activity in women would exhaust all the other organs and thus disrupt their proper functioning. Above all however, it would be the generative organs which would be the most fatigued and endangered through the over exertion of the brain". Hmmm, thinking cracks your eggs?
Now, me being me, I wanted to check you out. I realise, I was playing a dangerous game of Russian Roulette with my fertility by doing this, as some of your words may have contained more than two whole syllables.... but pull the trigger and call me Natasha, I wanted to know more about you. Turns out, whilst you may have been a tad misogynistic, you did an awful lot of good AND you were born in St Emilion, the home of my favourite red wine. Good red wine and helping deaf kids? If this were a game of cards, then you just trumped my ovaries. Damn you. Anyway, I've started reading more about you and now you've introduced me to a few more names I don't recognise, and as I don't like being stupid + I do love to google = problem solved. Yeah, I solved that all by myself and I wore lipstick while I did it, stick that in your pipe Paul Victor De Seze....
Yours sincerely,
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