Like A Magpie...

Dear Bank Balance,

What did you expect? We were in New York for God's sake! I'm sorry I've put a rather large dent in you but for what it's worth the lapsed Catholic guilt that has such a firm stranglehold upon me now, is making it hard to draw breath. This should provide some comfort as breath is an important part of making movement possible, if I sit here suffocating long enough that means I shan't be able to make a trip to a cashpoint or shop for days...

Whilst I sit here though I shall look at all the lovely purchases you made possible. Yes, yes, I know stuff is not really what's important in life. I think the person who said that has never been to New York, I'm guessing they are sitting somewhere weaving a rather earnest looking blanket made out of yoghurt. Cleaning my new flat in my 1940's playsuit is bringing out the Suzy homemaker in me, it's almost pleasurable, I might even bake a pie. It's perfectly acceptable for me to wear a peacock feather headband whilst I do that, right?

Anyway I will replenish you shortly, we have a rather long work trip ahead of us which, like squirrels gathering nuts, should see us set for winter. Besides didn't you get a small thrill when the Bank Manager saw Balthazar on your statement? On the plus side, now that we can't afford to eat, how fierce (insert three clicks as necessary) are we gonna look in our new duds?

In the meantime, I'm just going to count to ten, I feel a real serious game of hide and seek about to start between us and our accountant....


Yours sincerely,