30 Days Has September...

Dear January,
Why, oh why, must you be so bleak? You sir, for you most certainly are a sir, if you had a profession, apart from high priest of the calendar month misery, you would be a Headmaster at an all boys boarding school, think Enid Blyton. You are a relentless, grey, post Christmas come down, although you do make way for rhubarb and daffodils, they are at this time, as forced as my last meeting with my ex boyfriend's parents, it's all a bit too soon and as a result doesn't quite work.

In December, there is a multitude of treats, I appreciate Christmas, (which I love) is a highlight for many, but more than that, the best day of the year occurs in December, the 21st, where everything becomes brighter, extra daylight, better than anything Father Christmas can bring down the chimney. But you, January, with your endless sales, detox's and new beginnings, the false hope of out with the old, in with the new. Why must everything old be put aside? Like sticking your parents in a care home before they've even turned 60. Why must new habits begin and old ones be broken? The giving up of everything fun, for what else is there to do in January if smoking and drinking are taken out of the equation? I don't even smoke, I take it up in January however, just because I can. No one goes out, because they are behaving themselves, why? Why are we not rushing into a new year with an appetite for everything, in particular disgraceful behaviour? Why don't we stop giving stuff up and start taking stuff up? Why the deprivation and self flagellation, it's like the whole world's gone Catholic, I can say this, because I am Catholic, horribly lapsed, but Catholic none the less, schooled in the art of kneel, sit, stand, kneel, sit , stand, much like lather rinse repeat, only your hair is not so shiny and they remind you how tarnished your soul is.

I fear dear January, that if I do not discuss this with you then next year you will be no different, I will be no different. I'm anticipating the arrival of your more exciting, joyous friend February and I look forward to your response...

Yours sincerely,