Dear Life,
Full of surprises, so very full of surprises...
Yours sincerely,
Friday, February 25, 2011
Saturday, February 05, 2011
Wrap Me Up Me Hearties...
Dear Lovely New Discovery,,
Is it possible to fall in love with a blanket? I think I just fell in love with a blanket...
Yours sincerely,
Made by these clever people...
Is it possible to fall in love with a blanket? I think I just fell in love with a blanket...
Yours sincerely,
Made by these clever people...
Friday, February 04, 2011
No, No, No...
Dear Jennifer Aniston,
What in the name of merciful Jesus where you thinking?
You do not have to dress up in babydoll pyjamas, hold on to a teddy bear, give it your best Lolita pout to prove you still got it. Now, sartorially speaking, your look has never been my thing, but it most certainly has been yours. You rock the girl next door like few else and millions of women love you for it.
I always find it amusing when people take pity on you, I think to myself poor old Jen, counting her millions in one of her fabulous mansions, with a career she loves, loyal friends and dating a string of hotties, she's had it tough...
It's laughable really, how the press like to paint you as some downtrodden divorcee, that as a successful business woman, you are somehow incomplete, because you have yet to be rescued by the knight on the white horse, when anyone with an ounce of sense can see you rescued yourself.
So Jennifer, it is with great affection I say to you, button up your top, step away from the teddy bear, wipe off the lipstick Barbie may have rejected on the grounds of crimes against the colour pink and while your at it, take out the clip on fringe and repeat after me, white t-shirt, blue jeans and honeyed highlights...
Yours sincerely,
What in the name of merciful Jesus where you thinking?
I always find it amusing when people take pity on you, I think to myself poor old Jen, counting her millions in one of her fabulous mansions, with a career she loves, loyal friends and dating a string of hotties, she's had it tough...
So Jennifer, it is with great affection I say to you, button up your top, step away from the teddy bear, wipe off the lipstick Barbie may have rejected on the grounds of crimes against the colour pink and while your at it, take out the clip on fringe and repeat after me, white t-shirt, blue jeans and honeyed highlights...
Yours sincerely,
Thursday, February 03, 2011
Seconds Away...
Dear Blues,
I am bored of you now. You are proving tedious and difficult to shake, the moral of the story is never play with your hormones, they fight back and they fight dirty...
Yours sincerely,
I am bored of you now. You are proving tedious and difficult to shake, the moral of the story is never play with your hormones, they fight back and they fight dirty...
Yours sincerely,
Sunday, January 30, 2011
I'm In Love, I'm In Love, I'm In Love...
Dear New Trousers,
Such are your extreme beauty I could weep.
I love the height of your waist. I love the length of your leg. I love the billow of your fabric. I love the way you made my Swedish Hasbeens squeal with delight, when they saw they had a new playmate. I love the way you fill my heart with anticipation for spring and the way you make me talk like Katherine Hepburn.
Sweet, dear trousers, I love all these things about you, but most of all, I love how your little polka dots look like polo mints, it's all I can do to stop myself sucking on a leg, sigh...
Yours sincerely,
Such are your extreme beauty I could weep.
Sweet, dear trousers, I love all these things about you, but most of all, I love how your little polka dots look like polo mints, it's all I can do to stop myself sucking on a leg, sigh...
Yours sincerely,
Friday, January 28, 2011
Gonna Get Along Without Ya Now...
Dear Facebook,
Don't try to change my mind, we're done. We had a good run, but it's time to move on. You like gossip a little too much for my tastes and you don't care who hears it. You are neither a discreet or good friend and you aren't so much about sharing, as you are spreading. Spreading gossip, useless information, he said/she said and at certain times, playing with people's paranoia like it's a baseball, back and forth we go.
You think nothing of telling "friends" things I don't want to share, despite my stranglehold on my account settings, you seem to constantly change the rules about privacy and yet, you aren't so keen to share that information with me. You don't mind passing my information on to corporations, despite telling me that is not the case and yet all that appears in my right hand column are ads for travel. Ask anyone on my blog, I like to travel, they know, because I told them, I don't ever recall telling British Airways.
It was fun while it lasted, but when people start talking about my life, like it's up to them what they know and can access, it's time to take that sucker back. It's time to pick up a pen or the old Alexander Graham Bell and really be a friend, who remembers a birthday because I love my friend and not because 230 "mutual friends" prompted me to write a witty one liner on a wall, that people I don't even know, can look at. My friends, my actual, sweet, kind, loving, loyal, flesh and blood, non virtual but actual friends, deserve more than that.
So facebook, you can "share" all you want, but as of today, what's mine, is mine...
Yours sincerely,
Don't try to change my mind, we're done. We had a good run, but it's time to move on. You like gossip a little too much for my tastes and you don't care who hears it. You are neither a discreet or good friend and you aren't so much about sharing, as you are spreading. Spreading gossip, useless information, he said/she said and at certain times, playing with people's paranoia like it's a baseball, back and forth we go.
You think nothing of telling "friends" things I don't want to share, despite my stranglehold on my account settings, you seem to constantly change the rules about privacy and yet, you aren't so keen to share that information with me. You don't mind passing my information on to corporations, despite telling me that is not the case and yet all that appears in my right hand column are ads for travel. Ask anyone on my blog, I like to travel, they know, because I told them, I don't ever recall telling British Airways.
It was fun while it lasted, but when people start talking about my life, like it's up to them what they know and can access, it's time to take that sucker back. It's time to pick up a pen or the old Alexander Graham Bell and really be a friend, who remembers a birthday because I love my friend and not because 230 "mutual friends" prompted me to write a witty one liner on a wall, that people I don't even know, can look at. My friends, my actual, sweet, kind, loving, loyal, flesh and blood, non virtual but actual friends, deserve more than that.
So facebook, you can "share" all you want, but as of today, what's mine, is mine...
Yours sincerely,
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